Avoiding Cultification, a Comprehensive Guide:
Many people seem confused by the idea of living near your friends in a dense, walkable community, (despite it being the overwhelming cultural norm for all of human history, and a major driver for human happiness and health.)
“But don’t you think that’s kind of cult-y” they ask.
No.1
The fact is, the vast majority of organizations, settlements, neighborhoods, and communities in human history were not cults. Why many Americans are so afraid of accidentally joining a cult with no warning signs, I’m not sure. I suspect it has something to do with movie and documentary portrayals of instant mind control. But you can protect yourself against cults by knowing in advance what they look and feel like, so let’s address every known indicator of cults, comprehensively.
I will list 21 identifiers of cults. If you are in a group with these identifiers, they are absolute red flags. Talk to your family and loved ones outside the community immediately. Document the behavior for yourself so you can look back on it with friends and family. Double down on your career and personal life outside the community. Start talking publicly about your experience. Any community worth a damn will not care if you publish about their culture, they will be happy that you are a public advocate.
If you are a community leader, intentionally seed your culture with the opposite of these characteristics.
Here’s the comprehensive list, and what you should look for or implement as cultural norms instead:
1. The Group displays unquestioning commitment to it's leader. (Prophet)
Leaders should get out of the way, decentralizing power. You can and should lead initiatives, but you should empower other people to lead for themselves, without your consent or even knowledge. Decentralize authority, so people do not need to ask your permission to get things done, and can freely do what they want.
2. Questioning and doubt are discouraged/punished
Encourage questioning and curiosity! Write publicly and honestly about all sorts of intellectual curiosities of yours to encourage a culture of intellectual honesty. Encourage people to go to school, read books, follow artists from all over the world, start a blog, travel, or do whatever they want and be free.
3. Mind-altering practices used to solidify loyalty (prayer/prophesy,testimony)
Do not ever implement compulsory rituals, meditation, prophecy, or drug use. Seriously, being forced to open your mind is an insane red flag, run away if someone tries to do this.
4. Leaders dictate aspects of daily life. How to feel, dress, act, eat, etc.
Do not dictate aspects or rules of life. You’re not a family, you are friends.
5. Group claims exalted status. Seen as Sole source of truth on Earth.
See 2. Point to your own deficiencies. Write boldly in public, so you can be proven wrong. Encourage curiosity, research, and true artistic expression.
6. Polarized us-vs-them mentality
Always be charitable. Everyone is trying their best, and there is no need to perpetuate fighting between groups. You are not special, you are human.
7. Sees self as being persecuted because of beliefs, thus confirming group's apparent truths.
If you feel persecuted, reach out to trusted friends and family outside the community to get second opinions. Also, consider that being persecuted doesn’t confirm or deny the truthiness of your beliefs, it just means other people don’t like your beliefs.
8. Right-or-wrong/black-or-white thinking. No gray area. Leader is not accountable to any authorities (except God)
See 2, 3, 5, 6, 7. Realize that there are no black-or-whites, the world is filled with gray areas, the truth is hard to pin down, and all of science is predicated on the idea that we can’t ever know things, we can only justify ideas through evidence.
9. Group teaches that exalted ends justify whatever means necessary
Encourage people to read and understand many ethical systems -- I recommend Aristotle’s ethics, The Ten Commandments, many children’s books, and some fiction, like Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson or Red Rising by Pierce Brown (or literally whatever). The ends do not justify whatever means, unless you’re a consequentialist.
10. Leadership uses shame, guilt and fear to influence/control members.
Again, publicizing things and talking about them publicly and with outside friends and family helps here (this is a common theme). If you are ever feeling emotionally distressed, or cause emotional distress in others, bring it up with third parties outside the community and get them to weigh in.
11.Members who have trouble conforming are made to feel that problems are because of their own failings.
Trouble conforming is not a problem in the first place. People should not be made to conform by their friends. If you feel like you have to fit a certain shape to be deemed worthy, leave immediately. If you judge people because they don’t fit the shape you like, consider reading more children’s books until you learn that it’s rude.
12. Subservience to leader can lead members to cut ties with others if they are not in accordance with new beliefs.
DO NOT CUT TIES WITH OTHERS. Encourage people to heal relationships, rather than cut them off. Help them become *closer* to their family, not farther apart. You only get one family. Encourage pluralism, where many beliefs are considered valid, because knowing things for certain is very very hard.
13. Group expends great effort to bring in new members.
Actually, I think this is fine as long as none of the other warning signs are there. I ran a robotics club in college, and we had to expend very great effort to bring in new members, too. It’s normal to expand a club or community, as long as you aren’t being weird about it. If bringing in new people is required as some sort of loyalty test, run away.
14. Group requires major financial commitment from members as test of Loyalty.
Finances should be open and available. If not published publicly, they should at least be available to any member of your community. Obviously this requires some spreadsheeting work, but it is worth it.
15. Members are expected to devote great amount of time to group.
Members should be allowed to spend more or less time in the community depending on their schedule. They should always have enough time for their friends and family, their career, and their passions. Responsibilities can be fine if they are negotiated, voluntary, and flexible enough to transition if the burden becomes too much.
16. Members encouraged to live/socialize with only those who live as they do.
Again, encourage people to socialize outside the community, to be in public, to read diverse topics and acquire knowledge, etc…
17. Members are encouraged to report other members who aren't conforming.
Again, freedom and empowerment should be core principles of community. Conforming should never be expected. Tell people who are “reporting” others to calm down and talk to people like an adult.
18. Group has extensive system of rewards and punishments.
Do not have ranks, do not have stripes, do not offer people special sashes. Allow people to negotiate their own relationships and systems of value instead of imposing them top-down.
19. Leadership uses deception and tries to cover inaccuracies.
Again, publish openly and publicly with a public record so it is impossible to cover things up.
20. Leadership exerts control over information, discouraging members from getting information from other sources
Again, encourage people to read diverse information and engage publicly in intellectual conversation with strangers. Encourage people to follow their curiosity.
21. Members feel there is no life outside the context of the group. They fear severe consequences for even considering leaving the group.
Make it very easy to leave the group at any time. In fact, “the group” should not be isolated from life outside the group, it should be integrated into a civic environment that has a lot of outside context and engagement. This is why I recommend working in public so often. Encourage people to travel, take breaks, move away for family or love, if that’s where life takes them, to be wise, etc…
I hope this helps. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out publicly, either in the comments here or on Twitter.
I understand the fear, though. American pop culture has made us so afraid of cults that I once timidly reached out to a cult expert to ask if it was possible to accidentally start a cult. “No.” she said to me, clearly confused by the question. “People do not start cults by accident.” After that, I looked up the characteristics of cults and it makes sense why she said so.